Rumble in the Drain

So last night I battled my garbage disposal and won. I’ve always had a healthy respect and fear of the unknown of the garbage disposal, as I did not have one until I think my junior year of college, so I tend to be on the cautious side when it comes to putting stuff down there. Unlike Bill Bryson, who has a fantastic article about his exploration in the boundaries of garbage disposal functionality in his book, I’m a Stranger Here Myself, but that’s another topic entirely.

Anyways, I’ve had some issues in the past with my current garbage disposal, due to a clog in the pipe in-between my next-door neighbor’s apartment and mine, which caused considerable trauma, but has since been resolved. This incident led me to believe that my garbage disposal wasn’t quite right though, as it was coughing up bits of smelly black rubber, which obviously did not come from say, a red pepper, or something.

Well, all has been fine for about a month, except for the odor wafting suspiciously in my kitchen the last couple of days. I just chalked it up to the fact that I hadn’t taken out my trash or done my dishes recently, but last night it was just too gross, so I investigated a little. I took out the trash and that didn’t seem to help matters. The dishes weren’t overly disgusting, at least not enough to cause that smell. I leaned a little closer to the sink, and whew, sure enough, it was coming from the drain. I hadn’t put anything in there in a while and I know I hadn’t run it in quite a while, so I got out the flashlight and took a look. There, lying amid a few vegetable remains and staring back at me was something that resembled a human organ, perhaps a heart or a liver. Something that very clearly would not have fit down the drain and had no right to be in my garbage disposal, at the very least. I retreated to the living room, to avoid it leaping out and attacking me, to plan my strategy, or at least figure out what it was.

The obvious course of action would be to run the garbage disposal, but what if it really were some sort of weird growth that got mad and decided to take over my apartment? I eventually made myself realize that it was obviously just a bacterial growth of some kind, although the fact that was in my sink didn’t really comfort me either. So I ran the garbage disposal for a minute or two and took another look. There was still a chunk or two of my nemesis remaining. Man, he was a stubborn bugger. I had to reach even deeper yet into my arsenal, oh yes, for the Drano. Luckily, in Drano the quivering mass lurking in my sink finally met his match, and I now have a pleasant, spic and span clean kitchen.